Career Decisions

Kirandeep : Kidsfreesouls Team Crew Member

Being calm is the first step towards better parenting because it brings with it patience, tolerance, understanding, compassion and love. So, take a deep breath and relax often.
- Kirandeep

Counselling Answers by Kirandeep : Kidsfreesouls Team Crew Member
(for the week March 31-5th April 2008)

CAREER DECISIONS:

Q) Dear Kirandeep,

My son who is now in 12th standard wants to become a chef. We belong to a business family and my husband is very upset by his decision. Even I don’t support it because we have always wanted our son to look after the family business and make it grow. He has a ready business to take over and no initial struggles but he seems hell bent on taking up the profession of his choice. What can be done about this situation?
-A concerned mother.

Dear Mother,

Your problem is understandable because both you and your husband have nurtured the dream about your son being a businessman, while he wants to do his own thing.

Till our children are young, they listen to us and obey everything we say to them. As they grow older, they develop their own wishes and dreams for themselves, and this is but natural.
So, your son has his own life and own dreams to fulfill. Although you have the concern for continuing your family business, is it larger than the concern for your son’s happiness?

On the other hand, your son is only in the 12th. He still has to go through his graduation and post graduation if he wishes to qualify further. This is a long time and maybe he will change his career decisions by then. It might be in your favour or may not.

The duty of a parent, according to me would be to let the child explore his own world through his own informed decisions and learn from his own experience.

Making a career decision is based on various aspects, parent’s aspirations, peer group influence, monetary requirements, liking and aptitude for a particular job, realizing own dreams and finding one’s own life purpose.

Keeping these aspects in mind, I would advise you to re- examine your situation and decide what is best for your child.

Also, do reflect on the fact that ‘it is not important which profession your child chooses as long as he excels in it.’

Nowadays, there are many career options available. Even off- beat careers can be successful.
Basically, it is important to come to a win- win situation, where no one feels pressurized and no one feels hurt. Be practical and look at other options available. “Nothing is impossible provided we are ready to take a little risk.”
- Kirandeep.

Q) Dear Kirandeep,

I am a father of a 21 year old daughter. She has just completed her graduation in Arts, with Psychology majors but she does not know what she wants to do further. She has given the entrance test for doing MBA. She has also earlier tried for the entrance exam for fashion designing but did not score well. Although she has got through an institute for MBA, she still feels unsure about doing the course. Basically, she does not want to work so hard and neither does she want to think hard. I am not the kinds to force her. What should be done?
- Mr. Jacob

Dear Mr. Jacob,

You seem to be a really understanding and patient father.

Well, what I would advise you for your daughter’s career choice, is to first explore her interests. What is it that she generally likes doing? You said she does not like to work too hard, which means that she has not put in too much hard work in her studies till now but seems to be brilliant to get through her graduation.

So, how does she generally spend her time? Is she a people’s person? Does she like working with gadgets? Can she negotiate well with you or others? What are her talents?

Addressing these kind of questions will help in identifying her core interests and abilities. If she likes being around people and has also done Psychology, probably fields like marketing, public relations, counseling, human resource development, mass communication may suit her.
If she is inclined towards the creative side, like fashion designing, then fields like interior designing, jewellery designing or painting may suit her.

Doing an MBA definitely requires a lot of hard work and perseverance. In fact ‘every career requires passion and dedication’. So, following the line that she wants to pursue will provide the necessary passion for the same.

Finally, a career gives happiness as well as means to a good life. So, decide keeping these pointers in mind

You could also suggest an aptitude test for her, where the tester suggests the various careers she is suited for and can do well in.

So good luck and do write back with further developments.