Workshop on Parenting (4 & 7 Marc)

Workshop by Kirandeep : Kidsfreesouls Team Crew Member

Hello everyone!
First of all I would like to thank all the parents who turned up for the ‘Joys of Parenting’ workshop conducted on the 4th and 7th of March. Hope you took home a lot of useful learning and wish you lots of joy and happiness in parenting. Hope to see you for the forthcoming sessions too!

A brief overview of my workshops for those who missed it:
The ‘Joys of Parenting’ session which was conducted for parents of children aged 2 to 10 years included:

1. Sharing of parenting problems
2. Going back to own childhood
3. Principles of joyful parenting
4. Making certain resolutions

1. The problems discussed by parents included problems with children and personal problems.
The problems with children were rebellious behaviour, tantrums for obtaining things, disobedience.

The problems of parents themselves were time pressures, sacrificing own career (especially mothers), single parenting (where husband is generally away for work).

2. Then we had an activity where the parents actually close their eyes and try to relive childhood memories- remembering how they felt and thought as children, the people who mattered to them and why, the kind of upbringing and family atmosphere they got, the unique ways of their parents or care givers, everything they can remember.

Then they were asked to compare the way their parents were and the way they are as parents.
The point is to prove that we unknowingly adopt the parenting styles of our own parents when we have children. So the key is to identify those similarities and review whether they are working for us or not.

3. The key principles of joyful parenting discussed were:

-Enjoying our children rather than worrying about them.
-Letting go of perfectionism that your child will be good at sports also studies also and dance also.
-Allowing our children to live a carefree childhood and focus more on their morals, knowledge and spiritual development.
-Accepting our child’s capacity for getting marks or doing things.
- Not comparing him with another child.
- Being positive about our children and speaking positive about them.
- Offering choices instead of issuing orders. In this way they learnt to make and stick to their word. 'Do you want to switch off the TV after five minutes or ten minutes', rather than yelling or persuading. Even if he chooses the ten minutes option, at least he has himself decided to put it off.

4. Finally a resolution was made for each of the problems:

For rebellion: Reason- Appealing by good and convincing reasoning rather than ordering.
For disobedience: Offering choices- Children themselves chose whether they will do what you re saying then and here or after five minutes.

For disciplining: Avoiding harsh punishments or words. Using methods such as time out where the child is supposed to sit in a corner for a particular time (according to age) without you talking to him or vies a versa

Tantrums: Ignoring tantrums for things you don’t want to give your child. Not giving in even after some time. Not rewarding tantrums at all, even though it may get embarrassing.
Sibling rivalry: Giving both your children equal time and affection to avoid the feeling of jealousy. Not siding with any child during a fight. Ask them to resolve it on their own, with a little help from your side.

The 7th March session was on relaxation and coping with stress. I will discuss about that the next time. Till then chew on these thoughts and also try and get your hands on this book by Peggy J. Jenkins for young children, ‘Nurturing Spirituality in Children’. It has simple hands on activities about the same.

-Kirandeep.